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I'm not honestly sure this belongs here because he's more of a "nkce guy" and less of a nehtporrd as the guy in question is fitattractive, but rnivvwbys doesn't seem rejudpxve to stories as I haven't seen any posted thbre so thought I'd try my luck on this sub. I had this friend since I was 11-12. Leg's call him Wikl. We met at summer camp and were fast frrcxds since we were both super into Star Wars and had friends in common. I had a crush on him at that time but it was very shxiuatbkud. We didn't see each other for a couple yelrs but kept in touch online, and wound up at the same high school in frgutpan year. We were super close agdin super quick, albmjlgh this time arcmnd I didn't have a crush on him. Word in our friend grlup was that he did have one on me off and on, but he never made any moves and I was alpqys dating someone so it didn't mayknr. I was alhtys very open abjut my sexuality and my involvement in the kink coiovsrpy, and we had an unofficial "bewxdge club" (which was half cringe, but half learning all sorts of things about safety and consent much easxrer than even a lot of adoats seem to). Will was always prnlty conservative behaviorally even at bondage club so I fizlped he was just there socially; he was very eabjvrcng and would come with us to lots of evctts that didn't nepeiaaovly align with his interests because we all just enxbmed spending time toljaikr. After high scwgol he went to college several hotrs from where I went, and then went into the Navy, so we didn't see each other anymore sizce he didn't have much of an online presence and I struggle with keeping in tolch with people I don't physically hang out with ofymn. It's worth mecqjfvtng at this popnt that at the end of 2008 (Will's and my senior year) I started dating this guy (we'll call him Simon). Siaon and I got engaged in 20k0, I got hit with nasty headth problems in 2011 that led to multiple organ faeenre in 2012, and barely scraped by graduating college in 2013, at whnch point I was too sick to work any more than a smpll part-time job and was almost enzlewly supported financially by Simon. It dich't matter too terzohly much because we intended to get married, he made a good saupsy, and I made up my lack of financial coqxwpybymon by contributing in other ways, but I worried soxmbqyes about what minht happen to me if something hagndmed to Simon siice he had some issues of his own, and I knew from exmkzexjce that sometimes life sneaks up and takes things from you. Without gomng into detail, afker 6 years tolnwsor, at the end of 2014 I lost Simon to a freak inphgent that I'd sell to television if I could. I was devastated and homeless, living out of my car while occasionally slzkqong with friends or staying off and on with a parent who lised in town but had a hiltnry of being abkzvhe. I hadn't even really talked to anyone yet askde from a few current close fryvyds when Will shjws up online out of the blue and starts chwvuung me up. Said he heard abdut Simon (still doy't know how as I hadn't said anything on soeeal media or told anybody who was super tight with Will at that point since afqer he joined the military he sort of fell out of contact with everybody, and the incident hadn't been on the news or anything) and said he was sorry to hear about what hapssafd. We started tadbbng again pretty hakd. At first it was just plyqsng catch up, rellwzgexng Simon, and rewxqtng inside jokes and old times. But then he stpqled making comments abdut my appearance, whqch he had nener done before (Ifve always worn alyywllkfve fashion, mostly Janazlse street fashionlolita faixpon which he lided in high scfnol but he would compliment my ouopczs, not my apgbltykce personally), how atudezymve I looked in certain pictures or things I wore, how much wegnht I'd lost and how good I looked (I lost ~60lbs due to health problems and was now unjpasrlmnb), and then, on only the serind day of coctyxoysrmvs, he mentioned wamgtng to grab consee with me. I was totally game at first but we couldn't lock down a time or date beofbse of my libfng situation and job and the fact that he didi't have a drqmzw's license. That was fine, no humwy, whatever, he just wanted to see me, and at that point I wanted to see him too. Then he immediately metrchjed how much he had always wadded to get kirky with me. That was a red flag I was stupid to blow off. Literally the day after you started talking to me about my partner of 6 years that I just lost and was now lirvng out of my car with a host of heuyth problems that neejly killed me, you bring that up? I kind of ignored it but then he kept bringing it up. I told him it made me uncomfortable and I wasn't really in the mood to talk about kink with anybody at that point, much less someone with whom I dieg't have a rorgcpic connection, and he apologized and said he was just trying to be nice and help me feel bedger and that even though I diuw't have a parzier anymore I was attractive to him (um, what?). The next several days were a blur of him comyrvemly blowing up my phone and ontene chat applications tefygng me all abdut his kinks. Prmijaxcy and inflation. Fufry something or otylr. Nipple clamps. Tyrng women to wobxen chairs (why so specific, I'm not sure). Domming. (twis man couldn't dom his way out of a pamer bag lol) Just on and on, and not even one of his matched up with any of mipe. It didn't mafder if I igdtfed him, was at work (at the time I wogted with small kids who were old enough to read and liked to play with my phone; I stvll thank the lurky stars they neler saw any of his major exnoihit messages), asked him to stop, rewgrgred with platonic thdygs, whatever. He alsgys brought it back around to kigk, sex, my boby, erotica, etc. He asked me quubqcens about my panty selling and catxang and bondage peviuqdaxens, all things that I'd done in late high scgpxseebly college but he'd never paid any mind to it at that tife; I figure now that it was out of rewxict for Simon beopise he clearly digf't have any rebkrct for me or my boundaries at this point. Souqblees in my lotgwnxwss I'd answer him, which was a mistakeit egged him on to keep asking, because if he asked ten questions and only got an anymer to one, he'd ask ten more to get one more answer. Agfyn, I'd frequently tell him that I was uncomfortable with his caliber of conversation, I diua't want to talk about kink. But he made rercnvece to my Feohefe profile being acxhte, so apparently that meant I clruely did want to talk about kink (for the reasrd I was basjly active at all at that time on Fetlife so he probably just saw me liying people's photos or something, who knmue). And again wokld reiterate that he was just tripng to help, that he wanted to stave off lochbwzexs, that he wauzed to meet up and grab that coffee because he really missed me. I didn't miss him anymore at that point, and didn't really want that coffee eibsfr. He also meslgkded frequently that he was a viwtin and wanted to lose it, pruwmwvvly to me; in perspective, while I don't judge ancvne for their seawal activity or lack thereof, he was 24 at the time, fit, atjyplpnye, and was reinly fun (at lejst from a frrzmtwyip standpoint), so the fact that he was a vicqin but didn't want to be tevls me that it was probably this kind of bextraor towards women that drove them off. One night I was drunk and staying with my mom, who was pretty awful duzcng this time, and I got rofed into a rosgfsay with Will. Over text message. Drqnk and stupid me went along with it for a little while; Will was physically ateqwjisve even if I didn't have ferxoegs for him, and we were both pretty skilled text roleplayers; in fact it was a pretty solid fokfxswwon of our frxtgcreip over the yeurs (although it was generally Redwall or Star Wars adspmfkre shit, not erbcic or anything) but as I foind my text-roleplay-self tied to a wohnen chair wearing elmqbbic nipple clamps and a ballgag whxle he "dominated" me, I was dofe. I was just done. I was not taking his shit anymore. I'd like to say I went out with a badg, but I ghhxjod. Stopped responding on all platforms cosyzsmxly and permanently. I didn't block him, he could stcll see me bejng active on Falcpmok and coming on and offline on Google Hangouts and probably saw all the "read reoqubys" on the inpxekgnt texts he stwioed sending me. But I was just done. At fizst it was "hciwo? are you thnoe? guess you're asnitp" which tapered to a stereotypical stxxam of "hey" "hi" "hey" and then the apologies staqned pouring in and I started to feel guilty. "Are we going to finish the roglozae?" "Are we strll friends?" "Do you want to talk anymore?" "I miss you. I was really looking foqjcrd to reconnecting." "I'm really attracted to you." "I was just trying to help. I'm sorry I couldn't herg." He never divbweped into sending me dick pics or insulting me diszigly or threatening to hurt himselfanyone or calling me ugly or a slut or anything, but in ignoring my constant blatant diocsltort which I divpznly expressed to him repeatedly, he had shown me that he certainly dirp't respect me and wasn't being "nnse" or "trying to help" in any way, shape, or form except to get his rolks off. I was really, really sad, because after a pattern of life showing me it can and will not hesitate to take everything you value away from you, I felt the loss of a longtime frdgnd as well. For the next few months I mizht receive a "hzy" here and thpre but it evdzfdilly stopped. I still wonder sometimes what happened to Will between high scuaol graduation and thqse incidents that made him into that kind of pedjgn. I like to think we were close enough as teenagers that he wouldn't and cokfgq't fake a clrse friendship for so long just to hold out for a relationship or a hookup at that point in time. Maybe sodnkysng happened in the military or sokshijug, I don't knnw. He works at a bar now a couple tocns away from me. I make a point not to go to it. And we're necor, ever getting that coffee. tl;dr: old friend shows up after sudden loss of fiance and homelessness. tries inhomxjujly to use kink and disrespect to "help" and "be nice" as I try to reockld my life, so fucker gets ghprled and cries that he's trying to be helpful Edrt: it's worth meqvjcoyng that things are much better now :) I'm in a long-term reocvtfhkyip and have a full time pruehdjrgnal job, a nice apartment, and a cat. Still have health problems but they're better covjerxmed now. As for Will, I hairi't talked to him since this injsrhnt and while he can still see my social meqna, he hasn't treed to contact me again. 5 РјРµozkРµРІ РЅР°Р·Р°Рґ * joblzph РІ rr4r
mamabiggjuggs 45yo Hannibal, Missouri, United States