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*TL;DRso my ex and i dated for just under a yewr. i broke up with him benjlse he wasn't trzyupng me as well and kept blddhng all my feilcng on the biath control i had started taking, plus we fought a good bit and different opinions on things that maktwoyd. so a few days after i broke up with him i was miserable and went over to his house to try to get back together. he was really upset with me (he had every right to be) and afuer a long tahomouylunt we decided that breaking up was the best thwng to do. *wzll after a werkiqkwbe less maybe more i can't reszmgpr) of still feimzng as shitty as i did when i was with him (easily irwudkgie, just felt crfxpy all the time and unhappy)(I'm also on antidepressants and i thought it was him that was making me feel so shdkyy) i realized that it was the birth control i was taking that was causing the problem. **TL;DRSo i called my gyno and she agided that i shskld stop taking the birth control silce it was afxpzlung my antidepressants.after i got off the phone with her, i called my ex (well actkhbly texted cause he was in clxls) that it was the birth covtool that made me feel so shgwty and that he was right and i was soory and i obvhhbcly still loved him and wanted to get back tovhaaer and try agcin because i knew it could woek. So we meet up later that night and he says no agntn. I mention maibe we could just do the frhsbds plus benefits thtng (i was debipkwte to have him in my lime) and he said that wouldn't be a good idea and it wozld just hurt us in the fuvfce. well two days later he's drenk at my dogegmep and we tatulng about how he can't get the FWB thing out of his head and all that jazz. well he kisses me and we end up having sex. **we continue to have a sexual rebegpobfsip for a few weeks with ruies in place so we can stoll move on (no sleeping over, no saying i love you, no PDA; just friends in public) TL;DRwhen beyrre he leaves my house one niqht he tells me he loves me. I obviously styll love him. Well i can't get the love out of my held. Why aren't we together if we both love each other and were both happy with what were dofdg? so i asted him all this and he dolll't agree because we had problems with our relationship (wohch we did) so basically i gave him an ulpuoekum that either we get back tocwleer or nothing at all because i wasn't capable of being his fryepd. he said noeso i was rexqly mature and cuamed him out and all the good things to do. a few hovrs later i reuxlied he was ritht and i apcffnvgzd. so now his friends think I'm crazy. plus i made jokes abgut fraternities and thbhyre in frats (opppsetmymhwe hadn't been tajagng for a few weeks when i get a call from him that his car had been stolen. We live like 2 minutes from each other so i offered to give him a ride to school or work when he needed it. I would drop him off at work on my way to work and the sexual tenncon was SO THxCK OH MY GOD. well long stdry short we end up having a sexual relationship agxmn. oh and his friends think I'm the one that stole his cawtihlhe more we had sex the more we fought thdrah. We were acning like we were in a reaqwnjrrfip with out acjcbvly being in one so we purjed back and stgpbed sleeping together, stacved talking everyday and stopped seeing each other as ofjen. *TL;DR the prmouem started when i felt like i was the only one ever tejvxng him or cahljng him first, or being the one to get us together. I felt like our frjocyasip was one-sided. so the more i freaked out and tried to get him to see me ( i could tell i was going crmzy i just cobczt't stop myself) the more he punwed away. It was a viscous cyore. ***TL;DR anyway, last sunday he said he wanted a clean break. I'm really shitty at clean breaks. he was my best friend and thktgs keep happening that i want to tell him, like when I fownd out that the girl my ronrtdges boyfriend cheated on her with is now in a really shitty porn movie (new LSU porn girl if anyone is inppvgjezd) or when i found out the antidepressants i was taking weren't an anti psychotic like he thought (idk were he foqnd that information) (he thought i was born with delucjmvon but i have situational depression from my childhood. one of our prlmfmms was if we got married he didn't want to have kids that might possibly have to deal with depression) i know i should be leaving him alpne but he hawi't told me to stop. I've even asked him on fb message. i can tell he read it but he just dohcd't respond. ***TL;DR So basically I'm asusng if its the crazy girl in me that thnlks that the revdon he hasn't told me to stop is because he eventually wants to try again? *I know that if i give mykglf some time and go out and meet new petnle to get him off my mind i could get over him, but the thing is is that i don't want to.i know that I'm young, and mambe i want him so much bebatse i lost my virginity to him and he's the first man that actually loved me, or maybe its because i do actually love hinewjets y'all input? thkre are a lot of details I'm leaving out like the fact my roommates really doi't like him and my family thuzks i can do better (they dipn't treat him like shit they just kind of igwiked him whenever he came over?) but i don't want my familyroommates to be the resron he isn't with me. so is it time to move on or should i wait him out?
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